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Sunday November 30, 2008
Paco tired. Paco think holidays not all they are crack up to be. Paco want Monday.
- Paco
Saturday, November 29, 2008
More of the same today - busy, busy, busy. Good for business.
Hank didn't tell us what his plan was for all the squash he had us prep for his mysterious "Holiday marketing plan" so we've been servin' up squash with every entree, whether people want it or not.
- Hari
Friday, November 28, 2008
Mad
rush today. I suspect everyone sent their visiting family members out
to eat so they could get them out of the house for a while.
I was right, about the fightin'. Everyone settled down - or passed out - as the case may be. Unfortunately, we all pay for yesterday's debauchery by either bein' hung over or havin' to deal with others' hangovers.
- Hari
Thursday, Thanksgiving Day
We're closed to the public for the holiday, but we're enjoying a nice Family Style meal together here for the staff. Which is to say, there's plenty of food and lots of fightin'. I'm sure everyone will settle down by tomorrow when we are serving customers again.
- Hari
Wednesday November 24th, 2008
Still no word from Straight about his Holiday marketing plan. We're begining to wonder whether this isn't just an excuse for him to get out of work.
Antoine and Straight have never gotten along too well. Now that Antoine's back from his travels, he spends all of his time at the restaurant. I suspect he's been rubbin' Straight all the wrong ways.
- Hari
Tuesday the 25th of November
JESUS CHRIST!
Here
it is, Thanksgiving week and Straight still hasn’t unveiled his big
Holiday marketing plan! The entire staff has been put to work peeling
squash while Straight entertains this mad Englishman who drinks
Calvados and hangs his underpants from the coat rack!
We’ve had
frantic calls all week from patrons eager for the success of last years
Name a Pig gambit. Not to mention eager newshounds hopeful of one more
faux pas to splash across the headlines. But no such luck. Straight has
been so caught up monitoring his pal Soapy Sam that he seems to have
forgotten all about the rest of us.
Not that Sam is a bad guy!
Quite the reverse, in fact. He is a very sociable fellow and perfectly
willing to peel squash or slaughter pigs as long as someone is ready
with the bandages and there is a car started to make for the hospital
at the least sign of trouble.
In fact, whatever Straight has planned, I suspect it will be made better by the presence of Sam on our premises.
James DeVille – Sous Chef
Monday, November 24th
We're closed Mondays!
Come back tomorrow!
Le 14 novembre, 2008
Ma
Bonté. Cet a été une semaine puisque n'importe qui a rien posté rien
ici. C'est ce qu'arrive, je suppose, quand l'un obtient occupé et
égaré. Ceci est l'état que tous avons étés dans puisque j'ai annoncé
mon spécial de dîner de Réparation de Prix dans l'honneur du Président
Elu Barak Obama. Ceci était une idée de mine pour célébrer les
événements passionnants de novembre quatrième. Mais je n'avais pas
compté sur la Frénésie de Médias. Notre petite annonce a attiré
beaucoup d'attention et nous nous sommes trouvés au centre d'un orage
de couverture de nouvelles. Ceci a signifié que nos places quotidiennes
ont augmenté et pour cette semaine, cette vie à ChezBBQ a été habitée
en un tourbillon.
Un Dîner dans l'Honneur du Président Elu Barak Obama
L'amuse-gueule – le Bon pain grincheux a servi avec le beurre de laiterie frais, plus doux que salé.
La salade – César Traditionnel avec les Anchois, s'il vous plaît.
Le premier Cours – un morceau de Nice de poisson servi avec les Pistaches
Deuxième
Cours – le Poulet de BARBECUE, assez remplir unaugmenter, habillé avec
Mozzarella et la Tomate, y compris plus Chaud que le Lieu le plus Chaud
dans l'Enfer Dessert de Sauce Chaud – la tourte aux pommes et Glace à
la vanille
Magnifique !
Antoine - Dirige le Chef de cuisine
ENGLISH "TRANSLATION"
November 14, 2008
My
Goodness. This was a week that anyone posted nothing here. This is what
arrives, I suppose, when one gets occupied and misled. This is the
state that all were in since I announced my special dinner of Prix Fix
in the honor of the President Elect Barak Obama. This was an idea to
celebrate the fascinating events of fourth November. But I had not
counted on the Frenzy of Media. Our classified ads attracted a lot of
attentions and we were located in the center of a storm of coverage of
newness. This meant that our daily covers increased and for this week,
this life to ChezBBQ was lived in a whirlwind.
A Dinner in the Honor of the President Elect Barak Obama
The Appetizer – the Good grumpy bread served with the butter of dairy soft sweet more than saltier.
The Salad – Traditional Caesar with the Anchovies, please.
The First Course – a piece of Nice fish served with the Pistachios
The
Second Course – the Chicken of BARBECUE, enough to fill, dressed with
Mozzarella and the Tomato, including Hotter than the Place more Hot in
the Hell of Hot Sauce
Dessert – the tart of the apples and the cream of frozen vanilla
Magnifique !
Antoine – Kitchen Boss
Tuesday the 11th of November
I
came in early this morning, as usual, to help Chef with the marketing.
There isn’t much fresh available at this point as the growing season
winds down. There is plenty to pick up, though. Fresh bread, artisanal
cheese, dried fruit, meat etc. The list is endless.
When we got back
to the kitchen I was left, as usual, with the task of unloading the
truck. I spotted Paco’s scooter in its accustomed place, however, and
went to track him down to help. I found him (surprise surprise) in the
walk-in cooler. This time, however, instead of being curled up next to
a side of ribs, he had crudely drawn what look like bars on the walk-in
door window and had managed to handcuff himself upside down in what
looked like a very uncomfortable and compromising position. When I
asked him what he was doing he mumbled something about “Therapy, Mister
James.”
I’ll have to ask Straight about that one.
Anyhow,
it took me half an hour to untie him and get him down and by that time
he was weeping copiously. So I smacked him and told him to help unload.
And all of a sudden he was smiling and nodding his head just like his
old self.
Weird.
James DeVille – Sous Chef
Monday, November 10, 2008
We're closed Mondays!
Come back tomorrow!
Sunday November 9, 2008
Chef assures me that we will be back on track on Tuesday with a new Price Fix menu he is creating in honor of President Elect Barak Obama. He insists that customers be charged for it using a sliding scale based on their economic well-being. He is leaving it up to me to figure out how to manage that.
Grace Comes to Us All Cooper - Maitre d' Hotel
Saturday November 8, 2008
I have discovered the reason for our inability to provide food to our customers. The staff have been drunk since the end of the election Tuesday. When I asked about the delicious smells wafting forth from the kitchen today, Chef told me gruffly that he was preparing a feast for the staff in celebration of our Country's new direction.
Grace Comes to Us All Cooper - Maitre d' Hotel
Friday November 7, 2008
Apparently the new hope and jubiliation that the Chez BBQ kitchen staff have found since the end of the election has sapped their ability to function. The dining room is open and ready for business, but I have had to turn several potential diners away because no one is bothering to cook.
Grace Comes to Us All Cooper - Maitre d' Hotel
Jeudi le 6 novembre, 2008
Il
y a une nouvelle atmosphère étrange dans la cuisine aujourd'hui. Oser
je dis c'est un d'espoir ? Peut-être je fais. Même ceux-là de nous qui
n'a pas voté pour M. Obama commencent à sentir que peut-être il n'est
pas un tel mauvais candidat pour obtenir derrière.
Un Repas pour Manger Quand le Vent Change
Les huîtres avec le fromage cuit UNE salade de légumes fondamentaux et de Pommes de terre de Noisette de
Mignon de Filet de Laitue d'Hiver Rouge Crème Brulee
Antoine – Dirige le Chef de cuisine
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Thursday November 6, 2008
There
is a new strange atmosphere in the kitchen today. Dare I say this is
one of hope? Maybe I do. Even those of us that did not vote for Mr.
Obama begin feeling that maybe he is not such a bad candidate to stand
behind.
A Meal to Eat When the Wind Changes
The oysters with cheese cook
A salad of basic vegetables and of Lettuce of Red Winter
Fillet Mignon
Potatoes of Hazelnut
Cream Brulee
Antoine – Kitchen Boss
Wednesday November 5, 2008
I
will readily admit to the fact that I am a staunch supporter of Obama,
regardless of what the rest of the ChezBBQ staff think. Waking up this
morning and checking the live news feed by my bedside made my day. It
didn’t matter that the remainder of the day was a confusion of mixed up
orders, demands for free sandwiches and bouts of Paco the dishwasher,
weeping.
Obama is in and, for now, that is enough for me.
Grace Comes to Us All Cooper – Maitre d’ Hotel
Mardi le 4 novembre, 2008
Aujourd'hui,
dans la celébration de mon pays adopté et avec la fierté civique
énorme, je suis heureux d'annoncer ce Chez BARBECUE offre un Sandwich
de BARBECUE libre à n'importe qui portant un « j'Ai Voté »
l'autocollant. Comme je me suis fait la queue aujourd'hui, écoutant la
petite vieille femme à la porte à l'interroge le cri de station à
quelques adolescents boutonneux qui portaient « le tee-shirt
d'Obama/McCain, mon coeur a grossi simplement avec l'adoration pour la
beauté du processus démocratique.
Un Sandwich américain de BARBECUE
Prendre
de bon pain français grincheux. Couper en tranches longitudinalement.
Remplir avec le porc tiré bien trempé avec plus Chaud que le Lieu le
plus Chaud dans HellTM la Sauce Chaude. Décorer avec les Drapeaux
américains.
Antoine – Dirige le Chef de cuisine
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Tuesday November 4, 2008
Today,
in the celebration of my adopted country and with huge civic pride, I
am happy to announce Chez BARBECUE offers a Sandwich of free BARBECUE
to anyone carrying an "I Voted" self-adhesive sticker. As I was in line
today, listening to the old small woman at the door to the polling
station shout at some adolescents wearing shirts of Obama/McCain, my
heart increased simply with the adoration for the beauty of the
democratic process.
An American Sandwich of BARBECUE
Take
good grumpy French bread. Split longitudinally. Fill with the pulled
pork well soaked with Hotter than the Place more Hot in HellTM the Hot
Sauce. Decorate with the American Flags.
Antoine – Kitchen Boss
Monday November 3, 2008 
We're closed Mondays!
Please come back tomorrow!
Sunday November 2, 2008
I
can’t quite believe what happened yesterday. I’ve worked in a lot of
restaurants and know how strange things can get. People sleeping
together, after-hours parties, drunken debauchery, etc. But I’ve never
experienced anything like what happened at ChezBBQ this Halloween. And
the man responsible, our dishwasher Paco, was neither reprimanded nor
fired. In fact, by the end of the evening he was the center of a
riotous drunken celebration.
I haven’t yet gotten the hang of
understanding Paco, but as far as I can figure, he set out to drive off
the Norwegian Cheesemakers late Friday night. Apparently he has been
having nightmares since before their arrival. Anyhow, he had the
ill-conceived notion of recreating the scene from Carrie in which the
popular high school kids dump pig blood all over Carrie. But instead of
pig blood, Paco elected to use a vat of melted raclette.
His
timing was impeccable. He waited until the Norwegians were in the midst
of their final congratulatory speeches and then unleashed wave after
wave of raclette from chafing dishes cleverly concealed at ceiling
level. The effect was dramatic and the response was wild.
The
Norwegians loved it. By the time I’d crossed the dining room and yanked
the rip cord from Paco’s hands, the Cheesemakers were tearing their
clothes off and dancing wildly. The dancing didn't end until dawn.
There was nothing I could do to stop them.
Grace Comes to Us All Cooper – Maitre d’ HotelSaturday November 1, 2008
The Norwegians have departed. Covered in cheese.
Paco is in trouble.
More when this mess has been cleaned up.
- Hari
Friday, October 31, 2008
Paco have plan.
Plan to drive away Cheese Suits.
Halloween plan!
Paco
Jeudi le 30 octobre, 2008
Notre
d temporaire de Maître › l'Hôtel, Grace Nous Vient le Tonnelier, a
contrôlé le Cheesemakers Conférence norvégienne avec la confiance
croissante comme va chaque jour par. Elle n'est pas H. Dorian Droite,
mais elle est une jeune femme brillante qui habille intelligemment et
est attentif pour détailler. Si je ne suis pas mépris il y a une petite
étincelle entre nous. Mais, comme vous le savez, je suis un camarade
timide et prendre la retraite et pas du tout le genre pour flirter
indignement avec mon personnel.
Une petite salade pour quand l'un se sent passionné :
Le sang Salade de Betterave Rouge avec la Frisée et le Boeuf se Renverse
Le
lancement a bouilli, a cubé des betteraves avec la Frisée et les
épinards à peu près déchirée. S'habiller avec le citron. La garniture
avec Râle des Pointes et la poire coupée en tranches. Servir avec assez
de pain grincheux et un vin rouge, enfumé et sombre avec en avant les
fruits et une allusion de muscade, le poivre et le pain grillé.
Antoine – Dirige le Chef de cuisine
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Thursday October 30, 2008
Our
temporary Master of the Hotel, Grace Comes to Us All Cooper, checked
the Norwegian Cheesemakers Lecture with confidence growing as goes
every day by. She is not Mister O'CLOCK. Dorian, but she is a young
brilliant woman that dresses intelligently and is attentive to detail.
If I am not mistaken there is a small spark between us. But, as
you know it, I am a shy friend and take the retirement and not of the
kind to flirt unworthily with my personnel.
A small salad for when one feels fascinated:
The Salad of Red Beet with the Endive and Beef Reverses itself
Toss
the boiled, gauged beets with the almost torn Endive and the Spinach.
To get dressed with the lemon. Accessorize with Beef of the Points and
the cut pear in split. Serve with enough crusty bread and a wine
redder, smoked and darker with forward fruit and a nutmeg allusion, the
pepper and the roasted bread.
Antoine – Kitchen Boss
Wednesday October 29th 2008
Mister
DeVille encouraged me to make an occasional entry in the restaurant
Kitchen Log while I am standing in for Mister Straight who is on a
leave of absence, getting accustomed to life with his newborn son.
It
has been an interesting start to the week and a trial by fire. I am
accustomed to busy restaurant life but I will admit that the level of
chaos at this establishment caught me a little off guard. However, they
are good people to work with and I appreciate the camaraderie of such a
tight knit group.
I have recovered from the shock of having the
entire DeVille Family attending the Norwegian Cheesemakers Conference
as non-paying guests and am planning on a week of smooth sailing and
delicious BBQ.
I look forward to meeting and welcoming you all when we are again open to the public, next week.
- Grace Comes to Us All Cooper, Temporary Maî·tre d'Hô·tel
Mardi le 28 octobre, 2008
Il
y a eu une grande quantité de confusion sur le dernier deux jours, sans
mon très chère ami et les très chère affaires accompagne H. Dorian pour
orchestrer notre opération. Le Cheesemakers norvégien est arrivé selon
l'horaire, nous étonnant par vérifiant premièrement dans Le Pukin ›
quaker où ils restent cette semaine. Ils sont descendus alors sur nous
en-masse pour un Buffet Bienvenu de fromage de spécialité et de vin.
Notre Maître temporaire de l'Hôtel était responsable des arrangements
et elle l'a enlevé avec le style et le panache. Cependant, elle n'a pas
pris en compte le fait que la Famille de DeVille tenait une relance
rencontrant dans la tente l'hors devant et avant qu'elle ait ait su ce
qu'arrivait les Norvégiens ont été confondu avec les Baptistes et
l'après-midi tourné dans un festival de fromage religieux long,
beaucoup de comme j'ai observé dans Parma, Gouda et la région de Brie.
Les
Norvégiens ont été plu, cependant, et elle les a persuadés facilement à
la partie avec l'argent supplémentaire pour couvrir les dépenses du
divertissement imprévu. La seule note aigre au jour était quand notre
petit lave-vaisselle, Paco, explosé brusquement de la cuisine crie, «
les PROCES DE FROMAGE » ! et brandissant sauvagement une serviette
humide. DeVille l'a obtenu bientôt dans une prise de buse et l'a poussé
dans le Promenade-Dans avant qu'il ait ait eu un hasard pour causer
plus qu'un rire général. Je plus tard sur a entendu le commentaire
suivant d'un de nos invités :
« Le petit homme dans le chapeau
rouge drôle était une surprise. Comment aurait-il pu savoir cela « Les
Procès de Fromage » est le nom de notre Association notre Equipe de
Danse Nationale » ?
A lequel de ses compatriotes répondus avec un haussement.
Alors,
hier, la Famille de DeVille s'est incorporée encore avec nos invités
payant et le jour l'un était la gorge longue de BARBECUE excellent et
une série complète de fromage doux, subtil, poignant, dingue et salé !
Aussi loin que je pourrais dire, de la Cuisine, très petit a été fait
en ce qui concerne les présentations et les conférences. Mais, encore,
les Norvégiens n'ont pas semblé avoir des objections.
Un petit plat pour calmer les nerfs :
Souffle épicé de Fromage dans la Pâtisserie
1. Avoir Hari la pâtisserie aigre riche en marque
2. Remplir avec le soufflé suivant :
4
Oeufs, le beurre et la farine assez séparé pour un bon roux 1 c. le
poivre de Sol de sel de Pincement de Lait chaud pour goûter la muscade
de Pincement ½ c. a grincé du Cheddar 1 c. a grincé Parmesan ¼ c. a
grincé Emmenthaler ¼ c. a grincé Gruyere ¼ c. a effondré Roquefort
Eclabousse de Tabasco 1 moutarde de Dijon de cuillerée 1 petite
cuillère. sèche la moutarde Assez plus Chaud que le Lieu le plus Chaud
dans HellTM la Sauce Chaude pour plaire les palais les plus difficiles.
Remplir des plaques avec la laitue d'hiver de feuille Rouge, le
lieu Souffle de Fromage Epicé dans la Pâtisserie au centre de la plaque
et de garniture avec le saucisson mincement coupé en tranches.
Antoine – Dirige le Chef de cuisine
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
Tuesday October 28, 2008
There
was a big quantity of confusion on the last two days, without my very
dear friend Mister O'CLOCK Dorian to orchestrate our operation. The
Norwegian Cheesemakers arrived according to the schedule, astonishing
us by verifying first in The Pukin' Quaker where they remain this week.
Then they arrived down on us en masse for a Buffet Welcome of Cheese of
Specialty and of Wine. Our temporary Master of the Hotel was
responsible for arrangements and she did it with the style and the
plume. Nevertheless, she did not take into account the fact that the
Family of DeVille held one revival meeting in the tent of front and
before she have knew what arrived, the Norwegian ones were confused
with the Baptists and the afternoon turned into a Cheese Religious Long
Festival, as I have observe in Parma, Gouda and the region of Brie.
The
Norwegian ones were pleased, nevertheless, and she easily persuaded
them to the party with additional money to cover the expenditures of
the unforeseen recreation. The only tart grade to the day was when our
small dishwasher, Paco, exploded abruptly from the kitchen, screams,
"the SUITS OF CHEESE" and brandishing savagely a humid briefcase.
DeVille obtained him soon in a hold of the throat and pushed him in the
Walk In before he have had a chance to cause more than a general laugh.
I later on heard the following commentary of one of our guests:
NORWEGIAN:
“Den lille mannen i den morsomme røde hatten var en overraskelse.
Hvordan kunne han ha visst det at “Ostene Prosessene” er navnet av vårt
Laug Nasjonalt Dans Lag?”
ENGLISH TRANSLATION: "The small man in
the funny red hat was a surprise. How could he have known that "The
Suits of Cheese" is the name of our Association, our Team of National
Dance"?
To which one of his replied compatriots with a raising shoulders.
Then,
yesterday, the Family of DeVille incorporated itself again with our
guests paying and the day was one of the long, the excellent BARBECUE
and a series of cheese more soft, more subtle, more poignant, crazier
and saltier! Also as far as I could from Kitchen say, very small was
done in the matter of the presentations and the lectures. But, again,
the Norwegian ones did not seem to have objections.
A small dish for calm the nerves:
Souffle Spiced Cheese in the Pastry:
1. Have Hari in the rich tart pastry make.
2. Fill with the following souffle:
4 Eggs rather separated
The enough for roux of butter and flour
1 c. of hot Milk
The pepper of Ground to taste
Of salt, a Pincement
The nutmeg, a Pincement
½ c. grated Cheddar
1 c. grated Parmesan
¼ c. grated Emmenthaler
¼ c. grated Gruyere
¼ c. collapsed Roquefort
Eclabousse of Tabasco
1 mustard of Dijon of spoonful
1 small spoon, it dry Mustard
Enough Hotter than the Place more Hot in HellTM the Hot Sauce to please the palates more difficult.
Fill
the plates with the Lettuce of Winter of Red leaf, place Souffle Spiced
Cheese in the Pastry to the center of the plate and accessorize with
the thinly cut sausage in split.
Antoine –Kitchen Boss
Monday October 27, 2008
We are closed this week for the Norwegian Cheesemakers Convention.
Please visit the site tomorrow for more updates.
Sunday October 26, 2008
Cheese suits here! Paco frightenend!
- Paco
Saturday October 25, 2008
The whole DeVille family is about to come in to the restaurant for their buffet-style taste-test extravaganza. Antoine sure went all-out for them. He made enough for about 200 people and there just ain’t that many DeVilles. A few regular folks showed up hopin' to have a real sit-down dinner, but we’re closed to the public for the week to make room for the Norwegians. I let them in anyhow. They look a teensy bit like they could be Family.
I’ve
got to try to get Antoine to stop cookin' for a little while. You can’t
swing a dead cat in here without hitting a plate of food.
- Hari DeVille
Vendredi, octobre 24e, 2008
La
Conférence de Cheesemakers est presque sur nous. Mon personnel est dans
une bien forme, activement au travail pour tout faire dans le
restaurant paraît magnifique. C'est assez pour faire même un sourire
basque. J'ai déterminé sur le suivre les articles de cours principaux :
• Plus Chaud que le Lieu le plus Chaud dans HellTM les pieds de BARBECUE de sauce chauds et taquine avec la Choucroute et la Sauce Poignante
• GRILLER Foie Gras avec l'Enthousiasme de Citron de Menton dans une Sauce de Hollandaise
Et les desserts suivants :
• Napoleon de Citron de Menton avec le Chocolat et les Framboises Blanc
• Le Pudding norvégien avec le Fromage et le Cassis Brun
Mais quant aux côtés, je pas encore sais. Je considère les racines Rôties d'hiver enveloppé dans le chou frisé servi avec un plus Chaud que le Lieu plus Chaud dans HellTM le Fromage chaud trempant la sauce et l'hiver Chaleureux Chiffonade vert dans le bouillon de Citron de Menton avec plus Chaud que le Lieu plus Chaud dans HellTM les accents de Sauce Chauds.
H Dorian s'est toujours opposé de quel vin pour servir. Pas qu'il a été très attentif dernièrement. Il est égaré tout à fait par son jeune fils.
Mais alors, qui pourrait lui blâmer. La famille est une chose merveilleuse.
Notes du chef de cuisine :
PACO à Chiffonade – A Coupé des légumes dans les bandes longues. Littéralement, les légumes dans les chiffons. Les brins longs de légumes. LES DECOUPER.
La charrette de Dessert de HARI sort Juste le fromage. Je m'occuperai du repos.
DEVILLE a s'il vous plaît votre famille disponible pour le goût essayant le dîner le samedi soir.
H. la Volonté de DORIAN vous vous décidez.\
Nettoie automatiquement des fusils avant la chasse de jeu sauvage au country club la semaine prochaine.
Antoine - le Chef de cuisine
Friday, 24th October, 2008
The Lecture of Cheesemakers is almost on us. My personnel is in a good form, actively the work for all to do in the restaurant appears magnificent. This is enough to do even a Basque mouse! I determined on to follow the items of principal courses:
• Hotter than the Place more Hot in HellTM the feet of BARBECUE of hot and teasing sauces with the Sauerkraut and the Poignant Sauce
• TO ROAST Fatty Liver with the Enthusiasm of Lemon of Menton in a Sauce of Dutch one
And the following desserts:
• Napoleon of Lemon of Menton with the White Chocolate and the Raspberries
• The Norwegian Pudding with Brown Cheese and the Blackcurrant
But as for the sides, I do not again know. I consider the Roasted roots of winter enveloped in the curled cabbage served with a Hotter than the Hotter Place in HellTM
hot Cheese soaking sauce and the Warm winter green Chiffonade in the
broth of Lemon of Menton with the accent of the Hotter than the Hotter
Place in HellTM Hot Sauces.
Mister O'clock Dorian always opposes himself which wine to serve. Not that he was very attentive recently. He is misled completely by his young son.
But then, who could criticize him. The family is a wonderful thing.
Boss of Kitchen Notes:
PACO to Chiffonade – Cut vegetables in the long bands. Literally, the vegetables in the rags. The long wisps of vegetables. THE DECOUPER.
The cart of Dessert of HARI – goes out Just Cheese. I will take care of the rest.
DEVILLE Please your available family for the taste trying the dinner the Saturday evening.
Mister O'clock DORIAN. Will of you make a decision.
SELF Clean automatically rifles before the hunt of wild game to the country club next week.
- Antoine - the Kitchen Boss
Jeudi le 23 octobre, 2008
Le si joli Hari a fait une grande plainte de mes recettes compliquées. J'ai décidé de la fournir avec quelque chose très simple que complimentera notre Cheesemakers norvégien suivant › la Conférence.
Pudding norvégien
1 blé de semoule de tasse
5 tasses crème légère
1 pouce de Bourbon frais haricot à la vanille
1 amandes de sol
de tasse 1 tasse sucre surfin
¼ la tasse arrose
Bouillir la crème, ajouter la semoule, l'extrait de vanille, les amandes, le sucre et l'eau. Cuire. S'habiller avec le fromage brun fondu et le cassis frais.
Si jeune Hari ne peut pas faire ceci elle doit retourner à la salle à manger.
J'ai dû annule l'ordre Droit pour remplacer notre signe actuel, «BARBECUE de Fromage,» avec le vieux «Chez BARBECUE» le signe*. Nous devons garder nos Norvégiens heureux.
- Antoine, Diriger le Chef de cuisine
* see Archives, Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday October 23, 2008
The so pretty Hari did a big complaint of my complicated recipes. I decided to furnish it with very simple something that will compliment our following Norwegian Cheesemakers' Lecture.
Norwegian Pudding
1 wheat of semolina of cup
5 cups cream light
1 thumb of fresh Bourbon bean to the vanilla
1 almonds of ground of cup
1 cup sweetens surfin
¼ the cup waters
Boil the cream, add the semolina, the vanilla extract, the almonds, Sugar and water. Cook. To get dressed with brown melted cheese and the fresh blackcurrant.
So - young Hari cannot do this - she must return to the dining room.
I must cancel the Straight order to replace our current sign, "BBQ of Cheese," with the old "House of BBQ" sign.* We must keep our Norwegians happy ones.
- Antoine, Boss of Kitchen
* see Friday, August 22, 2008
Wednesday October 22, 2008
I’ve
volunteered to stand in for Jenni in her role as pastry chef while
she’s on maternity leave. We DeVilles do a lot of bakin’, what with all
the revival meetin’s an’ all. I figure I can get the hang of fancy
French pastries without too much trouble.
Except for translatin’ Antoine’s recipes. That is going to prove mighty troublesome. Even in English, they're not terribly instructive.
T – 3 days til the Norwegian Cheese Makers Conference. And countin’.
- Hari
Le 21 octobre, 2008
Le Hari enfant a demandé qu'elle est permise d'aider dans la cuisine en reprenant pour Jeanette comme notre chef de cuisine de pâtisserie. J'ai promis de lui livrer un simple facile-à-suit la recette pour Napoleon de Citron de Menton.
La première étape est, bien sûr, convenablement de définir « Napoleon ». Napoleon est un bastardization du « Napolitaine » de terme qui signifie « dans le style de Naples ». Ce terme est appliqué aux plats d'une nature de multi-coloré, comme la glace de Napolitaine connu, consistant en des couches de glace différente, colorée et parfumée.
Mon
Napoleon de Citron de Menton est un exemple classique de différer de
couches de couleur et de parfum. C'est une belle fusion de citron de
Menton, le chocolat blanc, la pâtisserie écailleux léger et les
framboises fraîches. C'est aussi une recette d'une façon charmante
facile pour préparer, supposant que le Hari délicieux sait les
principes fondamentaux de pâtisserie écailleuse et le tempérer de
chocolat blanc.
La Crème de Citron de Menton :
1 petite cuillère unflavored gélatine
2 cuillères à soupe eau froide
½ le sucre de tasse
2 oeufs
1 jaune d'oeuf
1/3 entoure le jus de citron de Menton frais (d'environ 4 grands citrons) l'Enthousiasme de 2 citrons de Menton
¼ entoure du beurre non salé
UN pincement de sel
½ entoure la crème lourde, fouettée aux sommets moyens
Dissout la gélatine dans l'eau froide. Préparer un bain d'eau en mettant une casserole d'eau sur la chaleur pour mijoter. Combiner le sucre, les oeufs, le jus de citron, l'enthousiasme de citron et le sel dans un bol et un lieu en métal sur l'eau mijotant, assurent que le fond du bol ne touche pas l'eau. Cuisiner
le
mélange sur le bain d'eau, battant constamment jusqu'à ce qu'il
épaissit, devient très crémeux, et votre coup part un ruban dans la
crème ; ceci peut monter haut à 10 minutes. Enlever de la chaleur et du
coup dans la gélatine et du beurre jusqu'à ce que lisse complètement.
L'utilisation d'un bien tamis de maille, tendre la crème dans un bol ou
un récipient propre. Couvrir avec une couche de plastique emballe
directement sur la surface et a laissé frais au moins 1 heure ou pour
augmente à 2 jours.
Pour
assembler le napoleon, l'usage quatre rectangles de chocolat blancs par
napoleon. Placer un côté lisse en haut sur une plaque. Proprement le
tuyau à trois lignes de crème de citron verticalement sur la couche de
chocolat blanche. Dépasser avec une autre couche de chocolat blanc, et
alors disposer en couches 1 section de pâtisserie écailleuse sur la
couche de chocolat et six framboises sur la crème de citron. Dépasser
avec une autre couche de chocolat blanc. Le tuyau encore trois lignes
de crème de citron sur cette couche de chocolat blanc, et le sommet
avec la couche de pâtisserie écailleuse finale. Arranger trois bandes
de citron confit pèlent sur la couche de chocolat blanche finale pour
la garniture.
Vous voyez, facile.
- Antoine, Diriger le Chef de cuisine
"in the style of Naples"
ENGLISH TRANSLATION
October 21, 2008
The Hari child asked that she is allowed helping in the kitchen for Jeanette as our boss of kitchen of pastry. I promised of her to deliver a simple easy one-to-follow the recipe for Napoleon of Lemon of Menton.
The first step is, of course, properly to define "Napoleon". Napoleon is a bastardization of the "Neapolitan" term that means "in the style of Naples". This term is applied to the dishes of a nature multi-colored, as the ice of Neapolitan is colored and perfumed, layered.
My Napoleon of Lemon of Menton is a classical example of differ layers of color and of perfume. This is a beautiful merger of lemon of Menton, the white chocolate, the light scaly pastry and the fresh raspberries. This is also a recipe of an easy charming manner to prepare, supposing that the delicious Hari knows the basic principles of scaly pastry and temper of white chocolate.
The Cream of Lemon of Menton:
1 small spoon unflavored gelatin
2 tablespoons water cold
½ cup Sugar
2 eggs
1 yellow one of egg
1/3 surrounds the juice of lemon of fresh Menton (of about 4 big lemons)
The Enthusiasm of 2 lemons of Menton
¼ cup of the non salty butter
A pincement of salt
½ cup the heavy cream, whipped to the average summits
Disolve the gelatin in cold water. Prepare a water bath while putting a water saucepan on the heat to simmer. Combine sugar, the eggs, lemon juice, the enthusiasm of lemon and the salt in a bowl and a place in metal on water simmering, assure that the bowl bottom does not touch water. Cook the mixture on the water bath, beating constantly until it épaissit, becomes very crémeux, and your blow leaves a ribbon in the cream; this can climb high to 10 minutes. Remove heat and suddenly in the gelatin and butter until smooths completely. The usage of a good sieve of mesh, stretch the cream in a bowl or a receptacle. Cover with a layer of plastic one directly on the surface and left fresh at least 1 hour or for increases to 2 days.
To assemble the napoleon, Place four rectangles of chocolate white. Place a side cup top on a plate. Properly pipe three lines of cream of lemon vertically on the layer of white chocolate. Surpass with another bed of white chocolate, and then to dispose put to bed one section of scaly pastry on the layer of chocolate and six raspberries on the lemon cream. Surpass with another bed white chocolate. Then pipe again three lines of cream of lemon on this layer of white chocolate, and peak with the scaly final pastry layer. Arrange three bands of preserved lemon peel on the white final chocolate layer for the accessories.
You see, easy.
- Antoine, Kitchen Boss
Monday October 20, 2008
Happy Birthday, Laura!
Dimanche octobre dix-neuvième, 2008
Voici mon bientôt être la recette mondialement célèbre pour BARBECUE Foie Gras avec l'Enthousiasme de Citron de Menton dans une Sauce de Hollandaise. Vous devez savoir que j'ai empêché d'entrer peu d'entre les ingrédients secrets. Dans l'honneur de Hari DeVille, je propose d'appeler ce plat : « Les étreintes et les Baisers sont tout j'ai le Temps pour, » quand je l'entre dans le Concours de BARBECUE International suivant.
Prendre 2 livres bons Foie Gras gras – est sûr d'obtenir le bon foie, bien marbré avec les petites veines de gras. Refroidir légèrement et revêtir avec une couche d'enthousiasme de citron de Menton fraîchement râpé. Emballer dans le lard mincement coupé en tranches de la plus haute qualité. Lier bien avec la ficelle de cuisine. BARBECUE sur un gril chaud moyen jusqu' à bien cuisiné.
Hollandaise Sauce :
2 Batons de coupure de beurre dans les morceaux 6 jaunes d'oeuf 1 petite cuillère Pincement Salé de cayenne
Précipiter de Tabasco Eclabousse de plus Chaud que le Lieu le plus Chaud dans HellTM la sauce chaude 2 tbls
Vinaigre de Vin Blanc
Combiner du beurre, les jaunes d'oeuf, le vinaigre et les épices. Etre sûr qu'il a la couleur jaune convenable à un Hollandaise correct. La louche sur BARBECUE Foie Gras.
Antoine – Dirige le Chef de cuisine "yellow one of egg"
Sunday October 19, 2008
Here my soon to be universally celebrated recipe for BARBECUE Liver Fatty with the Enthusiasm of Lemon of Menton in a Dutch Sauce. You must know that I prevented to enter a little of the secret ingredients. In the honor of Hari DeVille, I propose to call this dish: "To Embrace and Kiss them are All I Have the Time for," when I enter into the Competition of International BARBECUE.
Take 2 good fatty Fatty Livers – be sure to obtain the good liver, well mottled with the small veins of fatty one. Cool lightly and clothe with a layer of Enthusiasm of Lemon of fresh grated Menton. Pack in the more high quality thinly cut bacon. Secure well with the kitchen string. BARBECUE on an average hot grill until well cooked.
Dutch Sauce:
2 Sticks of cut of butter in pieces
6 yellow ones of egg
1 small spoon Salt
Pincement of cayenne
1 precipitate Tabasco
Eclabousse of Hotter than the Place more Hot in HellTM hot sauce
2 tbls Vinegar of White Wine
Combine butter, the yellow ones of egg, the vinegar and the spice. Be sure it has the suitable yellow color to a correct Dutch one. Then ladle on BARBECUE Liver Fatty with the Enthusiasm of Lemon of Menton.
Antoine – Kitchen Boss
Samedi le 18 octobre, 2008Entrée du chef de cuisine :
J'ai l'ennui avec la Choucroute.
Cette recette :
6 têtes finement ont coupé en tranches le chou
Fermenté avec :
1 Sel de livre
2 tasses semences de carvi
3 un sac Washington choisi frais
assez de Vinaigre de baies de Genièvre de l'état pour couvrir
Ne
travailler pas. Il est signifié être servi avec le porc ou les
saucissons mais mon projet est de le servir avec plus Chaud que le Lieu le plus Chaud dans HellTM
les pieds de BARBECUE de sauce chauds et les côtes. D'une manière ou
d'une autre, quand la choucroute entre le contact avec la Sauce
Poignante que le plat entier explose dans les flammes. J'ai un temps
dur chiffre le servir. Je ne peux pas me permettre de fournir chaque
client avec un siphon d'eau ! Je commanderai Monsieur H. Dorian Directement pour
calculer quelque chose hors. Je n'aurai pas mon génie créatif piétiné
par le mundanity inopportun de détails de cadre de lieu.
Aujourd'hui je commencerai à traite ma plus nouvelle création pour le Menu d'Hiver :
BARBECUE Foie Gras avec l'Enthousiasme de Citron de Menton dans une Sauce de Hollandaise
Antoine – le Patron de Cuisine
ENGLISH TRANSLATION:
Entry of the boss of kitchen:
I have the boredom with the Sauerkraut.
This recipe:
6 heads finely cut in split the cabbage
Fermented with:
1 Salt
2 cups seeds of caraway
1 bag Washington fresh chosen berries of Juniper
Enough Vinegar to cover
Do not work. It is meant to be served with the pork or the sausages but my project is to serve it with Hotter than the Place more Hot in HellTM the feet of BARBECUE of hot sauces. Of a manner or of another, when the sauerkraut contact with the Poignant Sauce the entire dish explodes in the flames. I have a hard time figure to serve it. I cannot allow me to furnish every customer with a water siphon! I will order Mister O'CLOCK Dorian Directly to calculate something out. I will not have my creative genius trampled by the inopportune mundanity of details of framework of place.
Today I will begin to treat my newer creation for the Menu of Winter:
BARBECUE Fatty Liver with the Enthusiasm of Lemon of Menton in a Dutch Sauce
Antoine – Boss of Kitchen
Friday October 17, 2008
The
DeVille Family has come for a visit – 57 of them, anyhow. I guess
there’s work to be done back home, so some of the uncles and cousins
couldn’t come. But the rest of ‘em arrived bright an’ early this
mornin’ and will stay on through the weekend. I sure am tickled they’ve
come, and James is happier than a pig in dirt. I can’t quite tell how
Hank feels about their arrival. He sort of rolled his eyes when he saw
the DeVille Family Tent erected on the restaurant’s front patio. But he
must realize that it’s off-season for outdoor dinin’. And besides –
it’s Family. Who can say ‘no’?
Antoine worked all through the night. He’s thrilled to have so many taste-testers to hand although (as y’all know) he doesn’t much show it. On the outside, he’s as much of an old French curmudgeon as he always was. But he shot me a saucy wink as we crossed paths in the kitchen today, so I know he’s feelin’ good deep down inside his crusty exterior. Antoine is always at his sauciest when his Creative Genius is awake and at work. He’s workin’ on a special Hotter Than the Hottest Place in HellTM hot sauce based recipe to enter into an international bbq contest. Just think what it would mean for business if he won an award – our sauce sales could skyrocket!
Paco is sulkin’ again, slinkin’ around and mutterin’ about his dream. He keeps sayin’ Bad Man but otherwise I can get no sense out of him.
Hank
is ½ way to takin’ him seriously this time – I believe he may think
Paco has prophetic dreams, though of course he won’t admit it. He
continues to slap Paco whenever he gets a chance. But I’ve seen him,
lookin’ hard at Paco outta the corner of his eye, followin’ his every
move. Hank’s arranged to take next week off – you know, the week of the
Norwegian Cheese Makers Conference. Mental health time, he’s callin’ it. It
took all sorts of careful arrangin' of schedules with a friend who's
comin' in to cover for him, from another restaurant. I have to say,
Hank's precious face was a sight to see when I announced that the
Cheese Makers Conference had been put off a week. It was the face of a
man who suddenly realizes he oughtn’t to have bothered ridin’ Hell for
leather all the way to Samarra.
- Hari DeVille
Jeudi le 16 octobre, 2008
Ceci
est une petite recette que je traite pour le Concours de BARBECUE
International suivant. Ce sera la base pour mon nouveau menu de ChezBBQ
d'Hiver suprême.
Plus chaud que le plus Chaud Que le Lieu plus Chaud dans HellTM les pieds de BARBECUE de sauce chauds et taquine avec la choucroute et la sauce poignante:
1. Brosser spareribs bien avec plus Chaud Que le Lieu le plus Chaud dans HellTM la
sauce chaude. Alors les arranger sur un gril et BARBECUE CHAUDS pour
une heure. Bâtir fréquemment avec plus Chaud Que le Lieu le plus Chaud
dans HellTM la sauce chaude et tourne le spareribs pendant la cuisine.
2.
Enlever des cochons refroidis les pieds de la Promenade Dans,
fractionner et le rouleau bien dans les miettes. GRILLER sur le gril
moyen de flamme jusqu'à ce qu'ils sont bien browned de tous côtés.
3.
Saute 6 cives dans le beurre. Ajouter du vin, le vinaigre, la sauce de
Worcestershire, plus Chaude Que le Lieu le plus Chaud dans HellTM
la sauce chaude, la moutarde, le Diable de Sauce d'Escoffier, le
poivre, le jus de Citron de Menton. Amener au point bouillant.
Rectifier l'assaisonnement.
4. Chauffer un grand plat bien. Le tas
avec spareribs et les cochons les pieds. Garnir amplement avec la
choucroute et servir tout noyé dans la Sauce Poignante.
Notes du chef de cuisine:
Ajouter la farine à la sauce?
Essayer cette recette avec les côtelettes de porc?
Essayer avec les Jarrets et les Pieds?
Directement est-il pourquoi une douleur morose dans l’âne?
Boss of Kitchen’s translation:
Thursday October 16, 2008
This
is a small recipe that I treat for the Competition of following
International BBQ. This will be the basis for my new menu of ChezBBQ of
supreme Winter.
Hotter than the Hottest Than the Hotter Place in HellTM feet of BBQ of hot and teasing sauces with the sauerkraut and the poignant sauce:
1. Brush spareribs well with Hotter Than the Place more Hot in HellTM
hot sauce. Then to arrange them on a grill and HOT BBQ for an hour.
Build frequently with Hotter Than the Place more Hot in HellTM hot sauce and turns the spareribs during the kitchen.
2.
Remove pigs cool feet out of the Walk In, split and roll well in the
crumbs. ROAST on the average grill of flame until they are well browned
of all sides.
3. Jump 6 shallots in the butter. Add wine, the vinegar, the sauce of Worcestershire, Hotter Than the Place more Hot in HelTMl
hot sauce, the mustard, the Devil Sauce of Escoffier, the pepper, the
juice of Lemon of Menton. Bring to the point boiling. Rectify the
seasoning.
4. Heat a big dish well. The pile of spareribs and
pigs' the feet. Outfit fully with the sauerkraut and serve all drowned
in the Poignant Sauce.
Note boss of Kitchen:
Add the flour to the sauce?
Try this recipe with the pork chops?
Try with the Hocks and the Feet?
Why is Straight a morose pain in the donkey?
- Antoine, Boss of Kitchen
Wednesday October 15, 2008
The Norwegians called. They're postponin' the date of the Norwegian
Cheese Makers Conference by a week. As if that'd be no trouble to us.
They didn't even offer to pay a fine or a fee or anythin'. Just We're changin' the date of our conference. Some people have so much. . . ego. I'm near inclined to think it mighty inconsiderate of them. I mean - imagine that. We're changin' the date of our conference. Sugar.
Truth to tell, however, we could use the extra time to get ready. And Paco's been havin' dreams again. Who knows just what level of disaster this portends.
- Hari
Tuesday October 14, 2008
Paco’s dream:
Dark. Dark and scary. Hat cold and wet. Paco crying. Crying, crying.
Wait!
There! Tiny light far away. Paco scared. Paco cold and wet and crying. Paco go to light.
Light
place warm. Smell good. Smell like warm and smell like cheese. Not like
Paco in basement with matches. Not like then. Smell happy warm cheese.
Paco look. And Paco see cheese. Cheese all around Paco – everywhere he
look, see more more more good to eat cheese. Paco look and look and
look and more more more cheese!
And men. Men eat cheese. Men
eat cheese and wear suits. Cheese suits. And angry faces. Loud talking.
Shouting. Shouting cheese suits. Shout and throw cheese. Hit Paco.
Throw cheese. Paco cry. Paco say “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
And in come Bad Man.
- Paco
Monday October 13th, 2008
We're closed Mondays.
Come back tomorrow.
Sunday the 12th of October, 2008
Jesus Christ!
Jenni, Hari and I stopped over at Straight's late last night, thinking we could give him a hand with The Baby. He's been more distant and uncommunicative than usual and we figured a little surprise visit would do him good. Surprisingly, when we got to the front door, we couldn't hear any wailing. Hari thought this was a good sign, so we knocked gently and were greeted by PACO who was holding The Baby on his shoulder and crooning a little wordless song to him. Behind him I could see Straight busily whipping up dinner in his kitchen. We all made it as far as the foyer when I made the foolish mistake of saying in a whisper, "Heeereee's Johnny!"
.
Both men turned on me and screamed "NOT JOHNNY!!!" The baby started wailing, Paco shoved us out the door and slammed it behind us and we were left standing in Straight's driveway in the crisp autumn cold listening to that baby boy scream at the top of his lungs. Of course, I got the cold shoulder from both Jenni and my cousin and ended up staying out until three in the morning drinking.
After that I figured there wasn't much point in going home, so I staggered in to the restaurant and discovered that our Raclette, delivered by overnight courier was piled in a heap outside our kitchen door. So I dusted the leaves and attendant rodent droppings off of it and set to hauling it into the basement.
Now here I am, 8:22 in the morning, half a bottle of house red inside me, waiting for the rest of the crew.
DeVille - Sous Chef
Saturday October 11, 2008
One
more week until the start of the Norwegian Cheese Makers Conference.
Lots to do to get ready. The raclette should be arrivin’ on Tuesday.
James found us an incredible deal on e-bay.
I just hope it arrives in an edible condition.
Hank
and Paco still scream whenever we call the baby Johnny, so we're all,
one by one, resortin' to callin' him The Baby. I like to look on the
bright side of things, so I figure at least there's only one nameless
baby in the restaurant right now. That simplifies things a bit.
- Hari
Friday the 10th of October, 2008
Jesus Christ!
Something
has to be done about Straight. For a month now he's done nothing but
alternately stare distractedly into the middle distance and stagger
around wailing. Jenni and Hari between them have managed to look after
little Johnny Straight but it is wearing on all of us. And Paco is
beginning to instinctively cringe every time Straight walks into the
room.
- Jim, Sous Chef
Thursday October 9, 2008
It’s four days after the Name Drawin’ Contest and we’re still receivin’ a steady stream of phone calls from folks about how to collect their free dinner that they won for enterin’ the name ‘Johnny’ in the baby namin’ contest. It’s just the weirdest thing. Seems as though just about all 200 of them looked at that little baby and thought he looked like a ‘Johnny’ to them. Hank still refuses to call his son by his new name. He has agreed to have it officially on record as the baby’s name, because he realizes how much trouble would come of resistin’. Johnny Straight. Hank calls him simply, “the baby.” Mostly Hank’s not talkin’ much at all these days. He just looks lost. Unless he sees Paco, and then he cuffs him like he’s got no other purpose in life. Straight still thinks Paco somehow influenced the guests, impellin’ them all to enter the same name in the contest. This is a testament to Straight’s tenuous grasp on reality. No way Paco could orchestrate anythin’ near so elaborate.
Caliope DeVille has stopped screamin’ all the time. Strange as it seems, I believe that she spent all that time wailin’ for lack of a name. And can you blame her, really, when the only person callin’ her by any name at all was Paco? And him callin’ her Clyde?
- Hari
Wednesday October 8, 2008
So as I was tellin’ you yesterday, during Sunday night’s Grand Re-Openin’ Dinner, hot on the heels of our outraged departin' chef Antoine raced in the most bizarre Name Drawin’ Contest. Ever.
I returned the Pork feet and snails brulée to the unwisely picky guest at 10:00
and hastily explained that the kitchen was closed for the night.
Sometimes the key to waiting tables is in Constant Motion – just don’t
stick around long enough for the customer to say anythin’ to you and
you can skirt a lot of sticky issues.
So
I hurried away and joined Cousin James, Jenni, Hank and the babies at
the end of the dinin’ room where we’d set up the fishbowl full of
guests’ name suggestions. Initially, James wanted to be the one to draw
the winnin’ slip of paper out of the fishbowl, but Jenni thought it’d
be cute to let the babies choose their own names from the bowl. And it
was. In a way.
What with over 200 guests comin’ through the dinin’ room that evenin’, the fishbowl was jam-packed with l’il folded slips of paper. I stirred them around in the clear glass bowl, watching to make sure I didn’t inadvertently un-fold any of the papers. James spoke briefly to the assembled guests, thankin’ ‘em for comin’ out and for helpin’ them to name their babies. He reiterated that whoever suggested the name chosen for each of the babies would win a free dinner at the Chez, to be redeemed on the night of their choice (with the exception of Fridays and Saturdays).
Jenni brought her daughter close, and I held the fishbowl up so that she could reach her pudgy little fist in and grab a slip of paper. She swished her hand around a bit, then latched on to one of the slips. “Good girl!” Jenni said, and carefully coaxed the slip of paper away from her gigglin’ daughter.
She unfolded the crumpled and slightly soggy paper and handed it to me. “Caliope,” I read aloud. Jenni & James’ baby squealed and looked at me. She seemed to agree with the name choice, and when I looked at Jenni & James, their faces showed their pleasure plainly. “Caliope,” they both said to the baby. And Caliope smiled.
“Now Baby Straight!” shouted James, a broad grin on his face.
Hank
brought his son over close to me, and as I raised the glass bowl so the
baby could reach in for a slip of paper, I looked closely at Hank’s
face. He looked a little out of it, as though his brain had left the
building a week ago. He looked pale. He looked worn.
The baby reached into the fishbowl, and his fist emerged wavin’ a slip of paper. Hank just looked at him, his mouth slightly agape. So I reached out and unfolded the paper, holdin’ it up to catch the light so I could read the pencil-written word. And suddenly Hank grabbed it out of my hand, crumpled it, and threw it to the floor. I looked at him, surprised as all get out. And he reached into the bowl with his free hand and handed me a new slip of paper. I opened it and held it up to read aloud: and Straight smacked that paper right outta my grip. I looked at him, too shocked to speak. He shoved the baby at me and grabbed the fishbowl.
He pulled out a slip, rejected it, pulled out another, dashed it to the floor. “No,” he said. And he continued pullin’ out more slips of paper, and throwin’ them away. “No!” he said again, “NO!”
He
upended the fishbowl, givin’ it a hearty shake. All the remainin’ slips
of paper fluttered to the floor around us. He fell to his hands and
knees and frantically searched through them – openin’, tossin’, openin’
– and all the while rakin’ his fingers roughly through his hair and
shoutin’ “NO!” in escalatin’ decibels. At first, we were all too
stunned to move or speak. Hank’s manic behavior froze us all in place.
Then
the room erupted – guests lurchin’ forward and shoutin’ out about
rigged contests, babies wailin’ fit to bust, and the clatter and crash
of cutlery, glass and china hittin’ the floor as tables were turned
over in the rush toward the slips of paper, now scattered across the
end of the dinin’ room. I handed off the baby to Jenni, and rushed
toward Hank, who was all-but-engulfed by the outraged clientele. I dove
in to the pig pile, all of my intention focused on the sound of Hank’s
voice, crying
“Nnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
I wrestled him away from the crowd. As I dragged his saggy body across the floor, my eyes swept the scene. All around us were slips of paper, most now crumpled and dirty. And the same name was on each and every one. Johnny. Johnny. Johnny.
- Hari
Tuesday October 7, 2008
Who-ee! What a wild ride!
As
you’all know, Sunday evenin’ marked the occasion of Chez BBQ’s Grand
Re-Openin’ Dinner and Baby Namin’ Contest. We had a large crowd. We had
a successful menu. The DeVille & Straight babies got new names. I’d
say that overall, however, it went about as smooth as Mediteranian five-o’clock shadow.
Antoine whipped up some real specials for the event: Kentucky pork tenderloin with spiced bourbon sauce, Pork feet and snails with Hotter Than the Hottest Place in HellTMSauce, and Indiana hot brown French-dip smoked turkey (which is a slow roasted turkey breast, topped with bacon, sweet corn and hot Asiago cheese sauce). He’s an absolute genius. With the temperament of an absolute genius. More on that in a minute.
Cousin
James DeVille, as I mentioned on Sunday, was in his element, with apron
on and a knife in his hand. The frantic pace and multi-taskin’ provides
just the sort of challenge he needs. And with 200+ covers in one
evenin’, he was preppin’ like doggonnit. He’s a real Maverick when
things heat up in the kitchen.
Paco was so busy washin’ dishes and clearin’ up and all that he hardly had time to bother anyone. Truth to tell, the poor l’il man looked tired as a two week-old cut-flower bouquet. He continued to look over his shoulder all night.
The Name Drawin’ was scheduled for 10:00. Round about 9:45 a guest sent back his Pork feet and snails with Hotter Than the Hottest Place in HellTM Sauce. He claimed it was underdone. Antoine promptly scorched it for him using the blow torch we keep on hand for crème brulée. Then he declared he was done for the night, hung up his apron, and stormed out the back door.
So we all hastily prepared to begin the Name Drawin’. It’s been a hell of a coupla days. More tomorrow.
- Hari
Monday October 6, 2008
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Please come back tomorrow.
Sunday October 5, 2008
Tonight’s the night. The Grand Re-Openin’. The hole in the dinin’ room floor has been repaired, the tables are all back in place. We’ve got over 200 li’l slips of paper all cut and ready for name suggestions, and a fishbowl to put ‘em in.
Antoine is in the kitchen, whippin’ up a special rib recipe that he fine-tuned while he was away. The main ingredient is my Hotter Than the Hottest Place in Hell hot sauce, so I hope everyone’s ready for some Heat. Cousin James is in his element – it seems to soothe him bein’ at work in the kitchen. Paco still looks like the walkin’ dead – I don’t think he’s slept since the night of his Bad Dream. But he’s pullin’ his weight, gettin’ lots of work done. He just keeps lookin’ over his shoulder, like he’s expectin’ someone. Or somethin’.
The babies are both havin’ a long nap this afternoon so they can stay up late for the Namin’ Ceremony. I think I’ll go join them. It’ll be such a relief when this night is over and put behind us.
- Hari
Saturday October 4, 2008
Paco’s Dream:
Dark. All dark. Paco wet and cold. Hat of Paco wet. Hat of Paco cold.
Paco see Biscuit! Little monkey friend! Biscuit love Paco. Here, Biscuit! Here is cheese! Eat!
Biscuit! Biscuit! Paco see you! Paco happy.
But
only small happy. Short happy. Biscuit – friend – Biscuit end in soup.
Paco very very very very very sad. Very very very sad. Paco say Why?
Why chop up Biscuit? Biscuit not make good soup. Bad man!
Bad man come closer. Closer. Paco see in bad man’s pocket. See baby. Straight baby! ohno! Paco try get baby out of pocket. Bad man come closer, closer. No! yell Paco No! You put back baby! You bad man! No baby in soup! Bad man!
Bad man come closer. Grab Paco and shake. And shake. Bad man say: Don’t call me bad man you little puke. You talk to me, you say Sir. You say Johnny Depp, sir. This my baby. Call him Johnny… Johnny… Johnny…
Nnnoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
Paco wake up.
Paco head hurt. No one listen. Poor Paco. He see bad man. And cheese all gone…
- Paco
Friday October 3, 2008
We
have decided to have a Grand Re-Openin’ Celebration Dinner. It’s time
to open the restaurant again. There’s a lot of work to be done before
the big night, which we’ve decided will be this Sunday. Not much time
to get ready, but it should keep everyone busy.
Cousin James’ idea is to have a Baby Namin’ Contest the same night. We’re goin’ to invite the customers to write names on slips of paper, and we’ll put ‘em all in a hat or somethin’ and pick one out. Whatever name’s chosen will be the baby’s name, and the customer whose suggestion is chosen will win a free dinner. There’ll be two winners, really, as Hank has distractedly agreed to have his boy’s name chosen in the contest, as well. I’ve got to get the advertisement written up and submit it to the local papers, get the word out an’ such.
Marco and his brothers have finished with the window in the basement, and now they’re workin’ double-time fixin’ the gapin’ hole in the dinin’ room floor. I’ve got to get back to work preppin’ the food, cleanin’ the dinin’ room, printin’ up the menus… Paco’s drivin’ us all to distraction with his “Johnny… Johnny… Johnny…” nonsense, and I’ve got to be present to intercede when James sets in to cuffin’ him.
-Hari
Thursday October 2, 2008
Paco has had A Dream. He woke up screamin’, and has been shakin’ like a leaf ever since.
He’s been doggin’ us all day, too – yankin’ at our pant legs an’ aprons and whatsoever else he can get a hold of, desperately tryin’ to get our attention. And when he gets it, he sets right in to babblin’ like a nanny goat, blabbin’ on about his Dream and always gettin’ stuck at the same point, where his face goes all stark terrified, and he just keeps repeatin’ the same name over and over and over again: Johnny… Johnny… Johnny…
But let me begin at the beginnin’.
Everyone got up on the rough side of the bed this mornin’, after a late night of copious drinkin’ and excessive eatin’.
I can personally attest to the fact that Cousins James & Jenni didn’t get a heck of a lot of sleep due to parental consternation brought on by what they perceive to be a potentially devastatin’ early manifestation of a Personality Disorder in their baby girl child. All this fuss brought on by the simple fact that the baby hasn’t yet got a name. They spent most of the night goin’ in and out of her room. They’d put their heads together, write up a long list of potential monikers. Then in they’d go and they’d stand there, just outside of the baby’s line of sight, and take turns sayin’ these names over and over again, waitin’ anxiously to see if the baby would turn and look at them, thereby acknowledgin’ with a certainty that they’d hit upon The Right One. Round about 4:30 a.m., they started in to gettin’ a bit frantic. The names became more and more questionable. When they got to tryin’ out “Frenchie” and "Buddy Lee" I felt compelled to step in and suggest that a little bit of sleep might provide some clarity on the issue at hand, and they could start right up again when they woke the next mornin’.
“Says you!” snapped James. “You don’t have a daughter with no name. You don’t have to work every day with someone who calls your daughter ‘Clyde’.”
“EEaah” squealed the baby, who’d suddenly turned around in her crib and was now beamin’ and lookin’ directly at her papa.
James buried his face in his hands and moaned.
“A little sleep,” I tried again, “might provide a bit of clarity.”
Deflated, the unhappy couple allowed me to usher them off to their bed.
- Hari
Wednesday October 1, 2008
Life is beginnin’ to return to what you might call Normal ‘round the Chez.
We
did end up havin’ that raclette feast, but I don’t know whether it
qualified as a celebration. More of a drunken frenzy than anythin’ else.
When
ol’ Hank dragged himself down into the basement, and found the cheese
wheels Paco had molested, he shrieked like a li’l girl. Cousin James
ran down to discover the cause of the ruckus, and found Hank,
open-mouthed but speechless, and Paco’s crumpled & dirty l'il red hat. A confrontation followed, involvin’ a whole lot of runnin’ around and shriekin’. The end result was this:
Uncle
James is no longer desirous of rewardin’ Paco for his heroism – or
rather, he considers his debt paid on account of how he didn’t fire
Paco outright for sneakin’ in and stealin’ food from his employers.
Hank’s
stopped wailin’ over Soozie’s abandonment, but has retreated into
himself and sits starin’ off into some place we’all can’t see.
Paco
is no longer smilin’. But he ain’t been fired nor killed, neither, so I
think he realizes that he got off pretty easy, all things considered.
Jenni
& I, meanwhile, decided we might as well make the best of a bad
situation. After scrapin’ away the most unwholesome lookin’ patches of
the raclette, we cooked up some l’il potatoes and silverskin onions,
and assembled a large platter of prosciutto, mushrooms, gherkins,
charcuterie, and crusty baguette. Although traditionally a raclette
dinner ought to be relaxed and sociable, I think we did all right.
Jenni and I made small talk, about babies and the weather and the
history of charcuterie – us talkin’ about the Romans bein’ the first to
regulate the proper production of pork joints sort of caught the boys’
attention for a moment.
But then Hank went back to starin’ off into space.
And James went back to slappin’ Paco’s hand away every time Paco reached for some cheese.
I
don’t know who’all drank the most of the three cases of wine we
polished off, but only Jenny & I were functioning well enough to
clean up and get ourselves into our own beds after dinner was over.
Today,
Marco’s brothers are hard at work, replacin’ that broken window. James
wants to be certain that if he ever bans Paco from the restaurant
again, Paco won’t be able to sneak in to steal any more food.
- Hari
